For years, they had been ignoring some nagging relationship issues, but now that they were together 24/7, it was getting more and more difficult to pretend that everything was fine.

They seemed to be stuck in a never-ending cycle of bickering… over nothing, it seemed. They were talking more, but communicating less. Travis, especially, was starting to shut down completely some days, just to avoid the possibility of conflict.

Emily thought about it for days before bringing it up with him. She was convinced that their relationship, for the most part, was basically a good one. They loved each other. They were both committed to the marriage. And there hadn’t been any infidelity.

So why couldn’t they seem to get along anymore?

When she finally had the courage to bring it up, she wasn’t sure exactly how to describe what she wanted. “We really need … well, some kind of a tune-up or something,” she concluded. To her relief, he agreed.

“But if we’re going to do this,” he told her, “I don’t want to spend the next five years talking about our feelings and not seeing things get any better. I want tools that will really WORK.”

When they called me, we spoke via video chat for half an hour. I agreed that they seemed to have the basic foundation for a good relationship – friendship, trust, and commitment. But they didn’t have a good idea where their conflicts were coming from.

I suggested the Gottman Relationship Checkup – a thorough, 480-question assessment that identifies a relationship’s strengths and challenges, potentially bypassing weeks of therapy sessions by going straight to the heart of the issues. 

The Gottman Method of Couples Therapy, I explained, is based on Dr. John Gottman’s 40+ years of research studying more than 3000 couples—some of which he has followed more than 20 years!

During this time, he learned that all successful couples are already doing the same seven things. And all unsuccessful couples are using the same four destructive communication styles. All of these habits, both good and bad, are easily defined, explained, and understood.

In the first session, I explained, I would take a thorough history of their relationship.

In the second, I would meet with each of them individually, then observe as they discussed a recent, unresolved problem.

In the third session, I would go over the basic seven principles of successful couples and the four destructive communication styles of unsuccessful couples. We would then discuss where they were in each of these areas (per their answers to their Relationship Checkup assessment).

In later sessions, we would work through a plan we would devise together, based on their individual priorities and needs.

Travis and Emily were so anxious to get started that they opted to combine all of the first three sessions, plus a planning session, into a single Saturday “marathon” session. It was a long day, they later admitted, but they left feeling empowered and encouraged. They had a new appreciation of their strengths, and new insights into their challenge areas. And they had a plan.

Is Gottman therapy a great fit for you, too? Call today for your free consultation!

Gottman MEthod of Couples Therapy

Session 1: 90 minutes, $225

• Why are we here?

• What are our goals?

• “The Story of Us”

Session 2: 90 minutes, $225

• Individual perspectives (one-on-one with counselor)

• “The Way We Fight”

GottMan Relationship ASsessment = $29

• 480-question, research-based, online assessment

• confidential - completed individually at home

• assesses our relationship in all areas of…

  • Seven Principles

  • Four Horsemen

  • additional areas

Session 3: 90 minutes, $225

• Marriage Masters: Seven Principles that Make Marriage Work

• Marriage Disasters: The Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse

• “We Are Here” - our Gottman Relationship Assessment results

Later sessions: 60 or 90 minutes each

• The Plan: Where do we go from here?

• Focus on…

  • areas identified by Relationship Assessment and our own values and goals

  • strengthening the Seven Principles

  • defeating the Four Horsemen (or at least keeping them under control)

  • other issues as they arise

Marathon “Get Started” Session

$779 value, special price = $600 (includes assessment)

Combines first three sessions plus goal-defining/planning session into single event (like our own private marriage conference!) Before this session, we complete the Gottman Relationship Assessment on our own.

• 8:30-10:00 - Session 1: “The Story of Us”

• 10:00-11:30 - Session 2:

  • 10:00-10:30 - Partner 1 - one-on-one with counselor

  • 10:30-11:00 - Partner 2 - one-on-one with counselor

  • 11:00-11:30 - “How We Fight”

• 11:30-1:00 - Lunch (on our own)

• 1:00-2:30 - Session 3:

  • “Masters and Disasters” - The Seven Principles and the Four Horsemen

  • “We Are Here” - our assessment results

• 2:30-3:00 - The Plan: Where do we go from here?